There are certain films that deserve to be recognized for their innovation, uniqueness, adsurdity, perversity, or sheer audacity. These are the kinds of awards I'd like to see given to films - not necessarily because they're good films, but because they all have a certain undeniable element that's worth mentioning. If nothing else, hopefully you'll get a good laugh out of some of the categories.
Best innovation in viewing a woman's underwear:
Agent Aika
Best use of a feline brain in a combat cyborg chasis:
All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku
Most offensive use of gratuitous breast jiggling:
Amazing Nurse Nanako
Best use of home cooking in a combat situation:
Bakuen Campus Guardress
Best female nose hemorrhaging:
Bakuen Campus Guardress
Best performance by a man peeking up a girl's skirt:
Bakuen Campus Guardress
Best brain transplant scene:
Baptism Of Blood
Most offensive opening credits sequence:
Barb Wire
Best film featuring the Barbarian Brothers:
The Barbarians
Best cameo appearance of a heavy metal artist in an animated film:
Bastard!
Best use of an exploding shark:
Batman: The Movie
Best science fiction movie based on Mormon mythology:
Battlestar Galactica
Best display of teenagers killing each other:
Battle Royale
Best use of a metallic bra:
Big Boobs Buster
Best example of how not to make a movie:
Bionic Ninja
Best banana eating scene:
Blood From The Mummy's Tomb
Best use of a lawnmower in a combat situation:
Braindead
Best love scene between two dolls:
Bride Of Chucky
Best horse decapitation:
Burning Paradise
Best use of feng shui in an action film:
Bury Me High
Best parody of "Apocalypse Now":
Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death
Best loss of bladder control:
The Cavalier
Best topless tennis match:
Challenge Of The Tiger
Best use of the tongue-cam:
A Chinese Ghost Story III
Best use of playing cards in a combat situation:
City Hunter
Best beehive hairdo:
Class Of Nuke 'em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown
Best music score:
Conan The Barbarian
Best American film never released in America:
Crying Freeman
Strangest use of a feminine hygiene product:
The Dead And The Deadly
Best performance by a praying mantis:
Deadly Mantis
Best fart joke in an animated series:
Dragon Ball
Best use of a laxative in a combat situation:
Dragon Half
Best American made martial arts film:
Drive
Best use of a bamboo staff in a combat situation:
Drunken Master II
Best ninja kites:
Duel To The Death
Best movie made for less than $10000:
El Mariachi
Best use of a high heeled shoe in a combat situation:
Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark
Best payback given to an unfaithful lover:
Encounter Of The Spooky Kind
Best violation of a female body by a miniature man:
Erotic Ghost Story III
Best use of a wood chipper:
Fargo
Best performance by a girl being dragged by her hair from a moving vehicle:
Fatal Termination
Best porno dubbing session:
The Favor, The Watch, And The Very Big Fish
Best use of a snake in a torture scene:
Female Neo-Ninjas
Best blindfolded fight scene:
Fist Of Legend
Best use of a vaginal blowdart:
Fudoh: The New Generation
Best film featuring a giant flying turtle:
Gamera 2: Advent Of Legion
Best gun-toting female character in a Disney film:
Gargoyles: The Movie
Best use of a top hat in a combat situation:
Goldfinger
Best car chase:
Gone In 60 Seconds (1974)
Best instructional cooking show:
The Groove Tube
Best public service announcement featuring a talking penis:
The Groove Tube
Best kung fu fight between two rubber suited monsters:
Guyver 2: Dark Hero
Best nunchaku decapitation:
Hard Revenge, Milly: Bloody Battle
Best breast jiggling due to recoil from a fired gun:
Hard To Die
Best film featuring a commando squad of Las Vegas showgirls:
Hell Squad
Best performance by a demon wearing a green body suit:
Holy Flame Of The Martial World
Best forensic analysis of a hair sample:
Holy Virgin Vs. The Evil Dead
Best performance by a talking pizza:
Hyper-Doll
Best castration device:
Ice Pirates
Best sword fight between two women:
In The Line Of Duty 5: Middle Man
Best parody of Jackie Chan's "Police Story":
Inspectors Wear Skirts IV
Best skeleton fight:
Jason And The Argonauts
Best breast augmentation scene:
Jekyll And Hyde: Together Again
Best finishing move by a female superhero:
Kekko Kamen 2
Best animatronic tongue:
Killer Tongue
Best stop-motion spider:
Krull
Best use of acid breast milk:
Kunoichi Ninpocho 3
Worst use of a musical stinger:
The Lady Constables
Most embarrassing performance by a martial artist wearing a chicken costume:
Last Hero In China
Worst looking wigs:
Legend Of The Drunken Tiger
Best fight scene between two puppets:
Legend Of The Sacred Stone
Best kung fu movie starring Peter Cushing:
Legend Of The Seven Golden Vampires
Best musical rendition of "Ten Little Indians" done in blackface:
Legendary Panty Mask
Best performance by Jeffrey Falcon in drag:
Lethal Contact
Bob Newhart's best fight scene:
The Librarian: Quest For The Spear
Best arterial blood geyser:
Lone Wolf And Cub 2: Baby Cart At The River Styx
Most appalling use of a wire brush:
Lover Of The Last Empress
Best kung fu calligraphy fight:
Magnificent Butcher
Best concealment of a weapon by a female police officer:
The New Metropolitan Police Branch 82
Most gratuitous display of a sexually aroused leopard:
Mighty Peking Man
Best display of mini-skirt skydiving:
Minisuka Police In Guam
Best performance by Yuen Woo Ping in drag:
Miracle Fighters
Best use of urine for medicinal purposes:
Mothra 2
Best encounter with a giant chicken:
Mysterious Island
Most tasteless use of a severed penis:
Naked Killer
Best display of female bonding through violence:
Natsuki Crisis
Most erotic use of a can of V8:
Ninja 3: The Domination
Best performance by a professional female wrestler:
The Ninja Dragon
Best kung fu stilt fight:
Ninja In The Dragon's Den
Best depiction of a ninja water spider:
Ninja: The Final Duel
Best performance by an acid vomitting monk:
Ninja Wars
Most boring animated film of all time:
Odin
Best foot massage delivered at gunpoint:
Operation Pink Squad
Best chase scene featuring a severed head:
Operation Pink Squad 2
Best use of a pair of testicles in a combat situation:
Pompoko
Best bar room brawl:
Project A
Best use of supersonic speed:
Project A-ko
Best wedding massacre:
Queen's High
Best martial arts sex comedy:
Ranma 1/2 TV Series
Most unusual morning exercise routine:
The Razor: Sword Of Justice
Best performance of oral sex by a vampire:
Razor Blade Smile
Best guard dogs in the world:
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
Best performance by a fuzzy tomato:
Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
Best post-apocalyptic car combat:
The Road Warrior
Best bullet removal surgery:
Ronin
Best depiction of a person vomitting worms:
Seeding Of A Ghost
Best use of a female nipple for medicinal purposes:
The Seventh Curse
Largest head credit for a cameo performer:
The Seventh Curse
Best penis transplant scene:
Sex And Zen
Best use of a mechanical penis:
Sex And Zen II
Best display of breast fu:
Shaolin Dolemite
Worst looking moustaches:
Shaolin Invincible Sticks
Best kung fu gorillas:
The Shaolin Invincibles
Most offensive dialog regarding the size of Dolph Lundgren's manhood:
Showdown In Little Tokyo
Best stop-motion baboon:
Sinbad And The Eye Of The Tiger
Best hermaphrodite seduction of a Catholic Pope:
Sins Of The Sisters
Best decapitation film:
Sleepy Hollow
Best dance number performed by an android:
Slipstream
Most irritating opening credits:
Spawn
Best use of a Lotus Esprit:
The Spy Who Loved Me
Best implementation of a chastity protection device:
Star Virgin
Best use of bodily fluids in a combat situation:
The Stormriders
Best use of intestines in a combat situation:
Story Of Ricky
Best retelling of "Hamlet":
Strange Brew
Best Wing Chun biographical picture:
Stranger From Shaolin
Worst film adaptation of a video game:
Street Fighter
Most erotic use of an ice cream scoop:
Stripes
Best use of a yo-yo in a combat situation:
Sukeban Deka
Most boring opening credits:
Superman
Best use a giant golden club in the shape of a naked woman:
Ten Tigers Of Kwangtung
Best CPR scene:
The Thing
Best chainsaw fight:
Tiger On The Beat
Most impressive ingestion of a dozen raw eggs in a single take:
Tiger On The Beat
Most absurd cinematic breast enhancement:
Tomb Raider
Best underwater fight scene:
Top Secret!
Best performance by a radioactive mutant wearing a tutu:
The Toxic Avenger
Most innappropriate use of a masturbation joke:
Transformers (2007)
Best visualization of cyberspace:
Tron
Best use of a tennis racket in a combat situation:
Twinkle, Twinkle Lucky Stars
Worst movie in which space aliens are afraid of contracting AIDS:
Ultracop 2000
Most incomprehensible animated film ever made:
Urusei Yatsura Movie 4: Lum The Forever
Best performance by a talking hand:
Vampire Hunter D
Best performance by a rock star playing a vampire who disguises himself as a rock star:
Vampirella
Best fighting waitresses:
Variable Geo
Best example of a rifle being used for sexual stimulation:
Virgin Assassin
Best kung fu kangaroos:
Warriors Of Virtue
Best endorsement for safe sex:
Wicked City
Worst set design:
Wild Gals Of The Naked West
Best chainsaw vs. giant scissors fight:
X-Cross
Worst example of turning Japanese:
You Only Live Twice
Best defilement of a grave by urination:
The Young Avenger
Best adolescent use of psychic powers:
Zapped!
Best underwater fight between a zombie and a shark:
Zombie
Best use of eyebrows in a