Year: 2000
Platform: Dreamcast
Genre: Rhythm/Dancing
Rating: **

Possibly the simplest game ever - and also one of the most infuriating. Earth has been invaded by space aliens who are zapping people with a ray that makes them dance. The heroine of the story is a cute and spunky news reporter named Ulala, and it's her job to "out-dance" the alien invaders in order to boost the ratings of her TV show. Yeah, it's really surreal. Visually, the game is very attractive and oozing with style, and the music is extremely catchy. Ulala is quite sexy in her next to nothing outfit, platform go-go boots, and funky space blaster. She's a total blast to watch. The English voice talent is excellent, and in particular Ulala who is performed by an appropriately exuberant Apollo Smile.

Unfortunately, where the game falls apart is in the gameplay. It's an overly simple "Simon says" game where all you do is mimic the movements of the dancing aliens. Simple, right? However, how the game engine processes controller input is incomprehensible. Dancing to the beat doesn't appear to work. Taking controller lag and animation response time into effect by dancing slightly before the beat doesn't appear to work. And performing slightly delayed dance techniques right after the beat doesn't work either. Being a musician and a drummer, I know all about tempo, rhythm, and syncopation, so why can't I play this game, dammit!!! It's truly maddening because I literally don't know what I'm doing wrong. Or is this a true reflection of my own innate inability to dance? This game is also one of the very few games I've played where I get progressively worse every time I play. The first time I played I scored a pathetic 13% rating. My following scores turned out to be 11%, 9%, and 7%, and pretty soon I'm sure the game is going to end before I even start playing. Additionally, all of the negative reinforcement you get when you're doing really poorly makes you not want to play the game anymore (maybe this is psychologically affecting my performance). Yet another in a long list of games that are more fun to watch than play.

(Ironically, right after I wrote this, I scored a 65% view rating and made it 90% of the way through the game - very cool...)